Lord, sometimes I wonder

What I’m doing here–

And what You’re doing here.

But You already know…

Yeah. Thanks that You don’t wonder

What You’re doing here–

And what I’m doing here.

Because You already know.

That calms my waves of doubt.

Almighty Creator God–Magnificent King–

The Only One worthy of all my devotion:

I fail, many times, to stay focused on one thing;

I let my love trickle in every direction.

So now, I lift hands to You, humbled and empty…

Refocused. Refine me to crave Your perfection.

You said we shine like stars

When we hold out the Word of Truth.

Help me not to feel jealous when

Others shine brighter than I do.

Father, help me, tiny as I am,

To twinkle, vibrant-white, always

Only and solely for the love of You.

It’s time for some honest reflection, Lord God.

The need hits my heart while my eyes watch the News.

So much corruption,

Such anguished cries.

I realize that I’ve never doubted Your love

Nor doubted that You’ll keep all this in view.

But the temptation

Has clouded my eyes:

To doubt You’ll know when to deem it “enough”–

That You’ll keep Your promise to make all things new.

Grant me redirection;

Help my trust thrive.

There’s no hold time, my Lord, when I call on You.

You’ll be listening, right away.

And I don’t have a dozen things from which to choose

On some automated display.

I just whisper, “Dearest Father,” and You’re here;

What a relief: so simple, clear.

Thanks for covering me when I asked You to

And covering me every other single moment too–

For shelt’ring my life long before I drew breath

In the span of Your time, in the shadow of Your hand.

And for how You will cover me until life is over.

Then, I’ll travel on, to Your arms, for ever after.

Lord ~

When You allow something that breaks my heart,

I want You to stop the pain:

The Providence You deemed fitting to be

Or my feeling-ability–

Or both. And a promise of never again

To assuage what’s hard.

But that’s not what would let Your glory shine through,

And that’s not what would let others know the real me.

And that’s not what would allow me to better know You.

And that’s not what would help to mend what’s been frayed.

So, show me how this heartbreak’s a gift.

Please help me trust You’ll bring Your best through it.

Robed in light, Majestic One,

You blind us with Your splendor

And teach us there is still a place

For awe at all Your grandeur.

So let us lie some moments more,

Full-prostrate in the golden,

And then, by grace, arise to kiss

Your hand which now lies open–

Your hand, which scarred, holds mercy

And clears our path to God: free.

You know my heart has been hard

As stone. But now it is heavy

As lead. And I can’t carry it on

My own. I need You to hold it

Instead. And perhaps, while You do–

Melt it. And purify what has been

Toxic. And replace all that weighed with

Silver. Same hue as before, but

Now clear. And so much precious-lighter.

My Father,

Thank You for the gift of words

To try to express what I mean,

The gift of Help

When those words fall short, and

The gift of silence

For times of thoughts too deep.

Amen.