June 2018

At the start of the year, I wrote about wanting to show more compassion to others in 2018. It is no coincidence, then, that on this birthday morning, God led me to a key verse for my new birth year.

In Luke 6, Jesus teaches, “Be merciful, just as your Heavenly Father is merciful.”

In honor of the Father who is merciful and who has given me both birth and rebirth plus a million second chances, I now pen this short poem-prayer as His gift on my birthday:

Kindly lead me in the paths of goodness

And show me more of Your ways

So that I may kindly be

Example after example, Day after day,

Though never perfect on my own,

A fingerprint-reflection of Your grace

In a world that needs more truth-filled mercy

Like the night

Needs daybreak.

 

Note: In order to focus on other projects, I am taking a break from blogging for the next several weeks. I plan to return with weekly posts in early August. Happy Summer!

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I stand on the threshold of my thirty-ninth year, but my earliest memory still remains clear in my mind. Daddy scoops me up in his arms and takes a seat in his worn living room chair. He drapes me on my tummy across the soft cotton of his shirt, my little arms and legs relaxing over his then-smaller belly, my cheek and ear pressed just so over his heart. And I fade to sleep while that beat resounds through the deepest parts of me.

My dad is a saint because he is redeemed, but he is not perfect. Yet, through the course of my life, from birth until now, he has stood by me or held me through a hundred sorrows and smiled with me through a thousand joys.

Funny, how both of us are creative introverts. This is a strange combination, because we are always seeking and appreciating good words, and trying our best to aptly describe what we are thinking. And yet, in our quietness, there are things we have never said to each other, other things we rarely talk about, and still other things we can never repeat often enough.

This weekend, I find myself at a point of frustration. I know that the small gifts and card I’ve prepared are a pathetic shadow of how I proud I am to be his daughter and how blessed we are to have each other. And even in writing those words, I know they are not enough to fully express my feelings.

So, I will tell my dad how I feel about him in another language – the language of music.

When I think of all the ways Dad blessed me in my early childhood, this is what my heart says: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a20VuIecgM

And when I think of how dear his love and support have been to me through all the additional years of my life, this is how deep and sweet my echoing gratitude sounds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lS7iU8vXWc

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. This weekend and every day: thank you for cherishing me.

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Tracy Tyner-Padilla passed away a couple of days ago; she suffered from a brain aneurysm about a week before and never regained consciousness. She leaves behind a mother, two sisters, and a thirteen-year-old daughter. She also leaves behind many friends and colleagues who are thankful for the opportunity to have known her.

I am one of those colleagues.

Tracy was a bright light in my working life. Among the hundreds of employees who work for our university, she is/was definitely one of my favorite people.

She wasn’t just a “nice” person, she was a self-sacrificing person. She wasn’t just a “good” person, she was a quiet and beautiful example of a Christ-follower. She wasn’t just an able woman, she was incredibly intelligent and articulate, and she was a great mom and example for her sweet daughter. She wasn’t just another name and face in the world, she was a treasure – whose memory is to be cherished now even as she was appreciated while she walked this earth.

Waiting for updates on her condition over the last week, I was reminded of how suddenly death can often come. Suddenly for us who live in time, anyway.

And I pause now to reflect and be grateful.

Grateful for the legacy each of us can leave behind by our words and deeds, grateful for Tracy’s life specifically, and grateful for the reminder of what a precious gift we have been given with every breath we take.

Enjoy the arms of Jesus, dear sister.

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What do I believe I deserve?

In the grand scheme of things, most people seem naturally disposed to assume that “good” people deserve good things and “bad” people deserve bad things – or at least they deserve less than their “good” counterparts.

A Jesus-centered view of the world sees things in a different light. In the light of His holiness, every single person has done things to distance him/herself from God, and therefore, on our own, we can never truly be good again – we are all correctly labeled as bad, marred, or undeserving. And the only thing we have really earned or deserved is punishment for the laws of God and man we have broken. Ironically, it is also in the light of His holiness, and His blood, that we can be made good again in the eyes of God, and filled with the desire to do good. And so, we acutely feel our struggle against the old wrong while we continue to reach for what is better.

Yet, even such redeemed hearts can sometimes struggle to know what to do with the undeserved. Every day – a hundred blessings are poured out on us. Some seem tiny and others are huge. If we have eyes and hearts to see them, it can still be hard to accept them. We sink back to thinking of what it was to depend solely on self, and we steep our minds in worries over our unworthiness.

But the Bible shows in more than one place that blessings and opportunities are poured on each person, no matter whether we would judge them “worthy” or not. For example, Ecclesiastes 9:11 (NIV) says, “I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.”

In The Voice of Melody, there is a point when Owen is acutely reminded of what a treasure he’s been given in his wife, Peggy. And in his words to her, we see the bottom line of our choice for how we will respond to all the blessings we don’t feel we deserve…

We can either deface God’s gifts to us, refusing them or snatching them from His hand with grumbling in our souls.

Or we can open our hearts to let them be poured in by the Blessing Giver, and echo back goodness with words of humble gratitude.

 

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