There was a time when the energy sources so widely used in our lives today were unknown or unharnessed and people in the developing world sought light, warmth, and industrial materials from the natural world around them. This included (much to the chagrin of today’s environment lovers) the harvesting of whale oil and related byproducts from those massive creatures.

No one can deny sadness in the fact that specific whale populations dwindled as a result. Yet, today I will not condemn the hunters for their eager pursuit. Instead, I will praise them for their courage.

Who among us would be brave enough to take a “sleigh ride” with them? Having our tiny wooden boat dragged over waves at breakneck speeds until the whale grew tired? Then approaching the whale to try and spear it through the heart before it could potentially destroy our boat or drown us with a flick of its flipper or a thrash of its tail?

Certainly not me.

But for all the bravado and upfront bravery displayed by the men, there was a different kind of courage being displayed at the same time.

Who among us would be brave enough to hold down the fort back home? To take care of all the family’s needs without knowing when one’s husband or father or neighbor or friend would return? Or if he would come home?

Certainly not me. (Though I might be more likely to succeed in that latter scenario.)

This was the courage displayed by the women of Nantucket, New Bedford, and many other communities throughout the development, growth, and heyday of the whaling business.

We still know a few of their names presently: these brave men and women who inspire us with their stength and tenacity, with their faith and their faithfulness. But so many of the other names, and stories, have been lost to the passage of time.

Yet, while their stories may now mostly be lost to us, their courage is still worth emulating.

A brilliant courage that stands up to the impossible and even runs right into the face of it.

And a beautiful courage that stays put, firmly committed to those we love through all the storms of life.

He lived so long ago that the details of his life story are now spun for us in a tale of various hues and colorful climaxes. Yet today, even the youngest school children know his name and couples across cultures celebrate their devotion to one another in his honor.

But do we recognize what we are really celebrating when we remember the man who was called Valentine?

Some accounts say that he not only healed a young blind woman but that he also fell deeply in love with her.

How romantic.

Yet ultimately tragic, and ironic, because all accounts say the reason for his execution came in his refusal to deny his belief that every man and woman who wanted to marry should marry, something the emperor of his time had forbidden for the sake of maintaining a stronger army.

Some people think it beautiful that he left his young love a note of eternal affection before he was led to his death.

But if we focus only on that, we miss the greater beauty of his courage. What he lived for. What he died for. What he believed in so unwaveringly.

And we miss the beauty of courage a man and a woman display when they commit to a binding covenant with each other…and the courage they display when they choose to weather many storms and see the promise they made as not only their responsibility but also as their gift to give through and to grow through. Together. For the sake of the other.

For the word marriage may, in English, begin with a “m” and end with an “e” …but it has never been about the good of the individual. It has been about the good of the unit, and by extension, the good of the community, the nation, the world. And even the good of Heaven’s pleasure.

Ironic, as well, because in a day and age when we have more rights and freedom to marry than ever, so many people choose to disregard that right. It takes courage to take up that yoke. And it takes courage to appreciate the beauty and defend the worth of each couple who pulls together well, no matter what life throws at them.

This Valentine’s Day, I will celebrate the man who had the courage to do what was right until the end. And I won’t be receiving a dozen roses or a diamond ring or be whisked away to a fancy steak dinner. But I won’t mind. I will be happy to sit at home, sipping chocolate, and praying for my married friends to press on courageously and faithfully.